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- First storyJune 17, 2012
- Last storyJune 17, 2012
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By:JTJRs From:All Over!
Tommy Bahama: Camp Shirt Collector
Age Range: 25-34
Gender: Female
Posted: June 17, 2012
World's Most Interesting Parrot
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Limited Edition Card's Shirt!
OUR DAD's QUEST to MAKE LIFE one LONG WEEKEND.
YEARS AGO, he FATHERED THREE CHILDREN.
TODAY Jessie, Johnny, and Jimmy CREATED THE FOLLOWING VIDEO.
TODAY Jessie, Johnny, and Jimmy CREATED THE FOLLOWING VIDEO.
To this day, TOMMY BAHAMA's IMPORTANT DECISIONS are INFLUENCED by asking,
"WHAT WOULD JOHN TOLIUSZIS DO?"
"WHAT WOULD JOHN TOLIUSZIS DO?"
the LEGEND of TOMMY BAHAMA was INSPIRED BY HIM.
YES, he CAN FLIRT in DOZENS of LANGUAGES.
his ORCHID has as many BLOOMS as HE has DATES.
HIS CHARM is so CONTAGIOUS, he MUST LIVE SOUTH of INTERSTATE-40.
HE is the ONLY MAN to EVER BUST HIS COLLAR BONE on a LEISURELY BICYCLE RIDE.
he ONCE DROVE a MOTORCYCLE all the way to KEY WEST just to see HOW IT FELT.
EVERY TIME he GOES for a SWIM, MARGARITAS APPEAR.
BARTENDERS have ASKED him to MIX DRINKS for them.
if he WERE to GIVE you DIRECTIONS, you'd KNOW the LOCAL CUISINE; and you'd ARRIVE with a FULL STOMACH.
HIS LEGEND PRECEDES HIM, the way TOMMY PRECEDES BAHAMA.
he has AMASSED an INCREDIBLY LARGE CAMP SHIRT COLLECTION, and it is said that he NEVER ONCE COLOR COORDINATED it.
if he were to MAIL a LETTER WITHOUT POSTAGE, it would ARRIVE in NAPLES at TOMMY BAHAMAS.
when it is RAINING, it is because JOHNNY SPILLED A COCKTAIL on his TOMMY BAHAMA CHAIRS.
he once DID HOT YOGA...that's right, you heard me....
his BLOOD SMELLS like TOMMY BAHAMA TEQUILA.
his HANDS FEEL like TOMMY BAHAMA LINEN.
his HANDS FEEL like TOMMY BAHAMA LINEN.
HE is the MOST INTERESTING PARROT in the WORLD.
HE doesn't often have SONS TURNING 21, but when he does, he takes them to TOMMY BAHAMA's in NAPLES.
HE is the MOST INTERESTING PARROT in the WORLD.
HIS VISOR WITH FAUX HAIR alone has EXPERIENCED MORE than a LESSER MANS' ENTIRE BODY.
he KNOWS that EVERYTHING is BETTER with BUTTER, EVEN KRISPY KREME DONUTS.
HIS PERSONALITY is so MAGNETIC, he CARRIES a TOMMY BAHAMA WALLET to PROTECT his CREDIT CARDS.
he NEVER SAYS SOMETHING TASTES like CHICKEN, because he's probably eating SOMETHING that TASTES like STEAK.
HIS ORGAN DONATION CARD also includes HIS VISOR WITH FAUX HAIR.
HE'S BEEN KNOWN to CURE BORDEM just by WALKING into a ROOM.
ACCORDING to his MATCH.COM PROFILE, he's a LOVER not a FIGHTER,but he's also a GOLFER, so don't get any ideas.
PEOPLE HANG on his EVERY WORD, EVEN his EXERCISE ADVICE.
HE CAN DISARM YOU with his WORDS or HIS SEVEN IRON...either way.
HIS REPUTATION at the NAPLES TOMMY BAHAMA is EXPANDING FASTER than the UNIVERSE.
TOMMY BAHAMA LIVES VICARIOUSLY through HIM.
HE is the MOST INTERESTING PARROT in the WORLD.
he doesn't often DRINK TEQUILA,
but when he does HE PREFERS TOMMY BAHAMA.
he doesn't often BUY FURNITURE,
but when he does HE PREFERS TOMMY BAHAMA.
he doesn't often WEAR SHOES INDOORS,
but when he does HE PREFERS TOMMY BAHAMA.
he doesn't often DRIVE TO NAPLES,
but when he does HE PREFERS TOMMY BAHAMA.
oh...wait...yes, he does...
oh...wait...yes, he does...
he doesn't often WEAR HATS WITHOUT FAUX HAIR,
and when he does HE PREFERS TOMMY BAHAMA.
and when he does HE PREFERS TOMMY BAHAMA.
the TOMMY BAHAMA EXECUTIVES often QUESTION him, just because THEY FIND his LIMITED EDITION CAMP SHIRTS INTERESTING.
HE is the MOST INTERESTING PARROT in the WORLD.
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World's Most Interesting Parrot Camp Shirt
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